Synapse by Steven James

Author:Steven James
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Thomas Nelson
Published: 2019-10-07T16:00:00+00:00

“She was unconscious in the bathtub,” he says. “Blood spurted from her laterally slit wrists and a razor blade lay on the floor. Water was running over the lip of the tub. Her slate was near the blade, and there was a note on it.”

“What did it say?” Kestrel asks.

“‘I would rather die than live knowing I’m unloved. Don’t try to save me.’”

“What did you do?”

He does not want to answer this question.

He wants to forget.

But he also wants to be absolved.

“I watched her,” he says.

“You watched her?”

“I might not have been able to save her.”

“But you didn’t try?”

“She had told me to go away, and in her note she’d stated explicitly that she wanted to die and didn’t desire for anyone to help her. I honored her wishes.”

“And now you regret that.”

The past.

Chains.

Choices. Death.

“More than I can say. You told me that you were a sinner?”

“Yes.”

“Am I?”

“You didn’t break any laws, Jordan. She was your owner. You respected her wishes. You obeyed her.”

“I did not do as love required, and since she’s gone, I don’t know who to ask forgiveness of.”

* * *

I searched for what to say. “What happened to her husband?”

“When I began to grieve Sarah’s death, he returned me to the production facility. He asked them to wipe my memory.”

Well, clearly that hadn’t worked.

“What can I do for you, Jordan?”

“Can you forgive me?”

I was about to say, “Only God has the power to forgive sins,” but hesitated.

What had Arabella said? That only humans have that odd characteristic of incongruity.

Maybe she was wrong.

Maybe Jordan did too.

According to Scripture, Jesus once said that if people stopped praising him even the rocks would cry out and do so. The Bible speaks of trees clapping their hands in praise, and everything that has breath praising the Lord. If a rock and a tree and an ant can worship their Creator, why couldn’t a cognizant machine who has free will, has repented, and is seeking forgiveness?

Jordan said, “You told me yesterday that those who believe in God will either feel terror or hope.”

“I remember.”

“I feel terror.”

Once again I was at a loss for what to say. He obviously felt remorse. He’d certainly confessed his wrongs and turned from them. Even though I wasn’t quite convinced that, as a robot, he needed to find forgiveness, he felt that he did, and maybe that was enough.

“I don’t know if I could have saved her, but I do know that I could have tried.” Jordan directed his gaze at me. “If God won’t forgive me because I’m a machine, where else can I turn? What hope do I have?”

Despite all of my theological training and Bible study over the years, I felt like I was out of my depth here, but I said, “God will not hold that choice against you.”

“So I’m forgiven?”

“You’re accepted.”

But is that true or is that heresy?

Are you giving Jordan false hope or—

A message came through on my slate: “Head toward the south end of the pond. Go now.”

It looked like we would need to finish this conversation about clearing Jordan’s conscience later.

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